I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
