May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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