Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
