He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
