no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
