with your own penis?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
