either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
