Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
