I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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