I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
