I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
