Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
