i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you would pick up someone in the library
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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