I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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