Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
