so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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