just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
