i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
