she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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