Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
