im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you inspire me to be a worse person
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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