Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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