I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
