He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
