She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
