Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
