Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
