I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
