nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
