It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
