i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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