I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
