69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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