i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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