Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
