the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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