Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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