If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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