she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
