Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
