thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
