Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
