I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
