bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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