yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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