You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
