is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
