i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
