sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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