Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
