I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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